(Tallahassee, FL) Eye witnesses near the Florida Governor’s residence spotted an 8-foot, neighborhood alligator being dragged but what appeared to be a naked Rick Scott around 9:15pm last night (June 14th, 2016). The entire sequence of events is still unclear but reported to have lasted less than a minute.
“That poor gator didn’t see it coming. There are signs posted to not loiter in the area as danger governor’s have been spotted, but alligators can’t read. Little guy didn’t stand a chance.”
Search parties are in place and combing the area. Officials tell us at this point there isn’t much hope in recovering the gator’s body intact.