Bob Krimmins (34) decided enough was enough after his fifth trip to the fridge in 12 minutes. He concernedly found nothing worth eating each time he opened the refrigerator door. He embarked on a mission to the Winn-Dixie two minutes from his house and returned with $100.18 in fresh groceries.
“Pepperoni sticks, heavy cream, butter, unsalted of course and I wanted to be healthy so I loaded up on whole pineapples, grapefruit juice and lettuce. I got an array of hamburger helper and 5lbs of ground beef among other items.”
After returning home Bob was excited to finally have some options for a meal. He gallantly carried all 18 bags at once into the house and hastily loaded up the fridge and cupboard.
“That kind of work deserves a beer!” he said as he popped a lager off the six pack ring and began to down it. After a minute or two of enjoying the adult beverage he opened the fridge to decide what he finally wants to eat.
“Ugh, there’s nothing to eat!” he proclaimed as he realized everything he bought would take at least 5 minutes of effort to prepare. “Fuck this.”
13 minutes and 3 fridge door openings later, Bob was spotted at the Five Guys Burgers a couple blocks away.