Police were called today when Siesta Key resident Mac Marlony, a trust fund inherited millionaire, caused a very large scene and damages at a retail store. Humiliated when his Diners Club card was declined at Crate & Barrel when attempting to purchase a $1400 set of copper pots and pans, he launched the cashier’s monitor through a wall. Mac, who has never had a real job, felt it was somehow the cashier’s fault. After trying to swipe 8 times and receiving the message “Card Declined, Over Limit” in large, bold print on the monitor, Mac had enough and caused the damage. He intends to sue the store over defamation since other customers heard the card was declined.
He mentioned to a female customer in passing on his way to the register, “I don’t even cook, but these copper pots would look amazing in my kitchen.”
He was released on bail with a court date set for November 10th. Later the man got home and checked his balance to find the card was maxed out and it was completely his own fault. Apparently his trust fund was down to his last $932 as well.