Local Man Wrongly Assumes No One Knows It Was His Fart Stinking Up Entire Office

Kevin Davenport (36) ate an entire bag of sugar-free peanut butter cups Monday night in an attempt to lose the 30lbs he put on over the holidays. Unfortunatley the sugar alcohols which replace the calorie robust cane sugar in normal candy can cause anal leakage as the fine print states on each bag.

Davenport managed to squeeze out a long, but silent fart into his office chair which quickly enveloped his cubicle. In attempt to save face he walked away to use the water fountain but upon returning he realized his scent had taken over the entire office.

Blindly believing his brain’s attempt to avoid embarassment, Davenport had no clue that every one in the office knew it was him. Betty Jones shares a cubicle wall with Davenport. “Yes, we all know it’s Kevin. In an environment like this office you can’t really ask someone if they did it and what would be the point? We know it was him. And just look at him, he’s not going to stop.”

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