Local high-functioning alcoholic, James Kinderman (43), realized this morning his son was turning eight-years-old. In order to be a good father he knew he had to throw a party. It was too late to send invites with his son to school but he knew where there would be people that could help celebrate.
At 3:15PM he picked up his son from school and took him to Memories on Tamiami Trail. There were four people at the bar and they all sang happy birthday to little Timmy. Five whiskey-gingers later and they went home where Kinderman could drink without spending any more money.