Area Men’s Penises Sucked Entirely Inside Bodies, Defective Boxer-Briefs Recalled

diagramFruit of the Loom’s latest Wal-Mart release has been causing some serious issues for Florida men. Being the first state to get the inventory, men from Miami to Jacksonville have been experiencing a large increase in inward-penile-syndrome where the entire shaft and head, while flaccid, go inside the body behind the scrotal cavity.

We caught up with Carl Shamson (31) on Sunday morning. The interview was interrupted every 30 to 45 seconds while he had to shimmy his legs and knees in an Elvis-style maneuver. “I have to do this every time it goes inside, it’s very annoying. Also, my triple pack of boxer briefs came with one normal underwear and I’m pretty upset about that too.”

Wal-Mart announced the recall Monday morning.

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