Area Premature Ejaculator Has Post-Sex Apology Down Pat

“It used to be embarrassing but now it’s routine,” were the first words out of Jerry Jones mouth in our one-on-one interview this morning. “The ladies like me, it’s easy to get them in the sack, but I like to cum so when I feel it I just let it out.”

Jerry doesn’t have a girlfriend and he never has. He’s a self-described lone wolf, always on the prowl for a quick “meal.” He tells us he typically lasts three to four minutes, but what we found out when we tracked down some of his past partners is that it’s more like three to four seconds. “Two thrusts, he’s done,” we were told by an anonymous victim. “When he’s done he let’s out a huge sign of relief and says, ‘ahhh, that was just a warm-up, give me five minutes and we can start the real session.’ yea, well, then he just falls asleep. I wouldn’t even count it as sex.”

The four other women we managed to get in touch with said the same thing. Jerry willingly admits his strategy with a smile, he said he doesn’t even have to think about it anymore.

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