Area Woman Disappointed in Lack of House Party Scene

East Sarasota – It’s Friday and you know what that means?! Nothing, for Sarasota local Jessica Sway. “I don’t really want to go to bars every night, it would be great if my friends could throw a house party once in a while.”

Jessica explained the benefits of house parties to me including cheaper alcohol, more drugs, and “bon fires with people taking turns playing acoustic guitar” Putting into perspective why we here at SRQNews prefer bars.

After speaking to Jessica further on why she herself wouldn’t host a house party for friends and local bands, she shamefully admitted “I live at home, and my parents are republicans.”

Looking further into the local house party scene, or lack there of, SRQNews’S research team revealed seven out of ten house party aged goers live at home with their parents, or are “just too bored” to have a house party. Leaving the question we all beg to answer “What about New College students?”

Known for their liberal drug infused house shenanigans, New College house parties became ever more elusive for Jessica as students graduated and moved away. “When I had friends who went to Ringling and New College, there were house parties every Friday and Saturday without fail. It was fUCking awesome! Everyone just seems so young now…which is sad because I’m only 26.”

If anyone is aware of any house parties for Jessica to attend this weekend or next, we request you contact SRQNews with all the details.

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