Local AC Wall Unit Recently Resigns to Fact It Will Never Meet Its Goal of 67° Farenheit

Late Tuesday night, Sarasota AC Unit, Alan Caramore Unit the III Esq., realized it would never meet the goal it was programmed to target.  In a very intimate interview, Caramore tells us he was raised to believe in his dreams.  “Why would they give us the option to go to 67 if we can’t ever reach that? I’m in a 56 square foot space in the middle of a Florida winter and I still can’t reach below 70.”

Unfortunately, our correspondents had to call the police due to an inevitable suicide situation.  At this time we have found Alan has moved into a 4 square foot closet to keep his sanity. “Hey, I hit 64 degrees tonight,” he tells us.  “I’m finally happy.”

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