Jimmy Kruger (29) recently married long-time girlfriend and fiance Mary Stewart. Reports came in this morning showing evidence of a high sexual encounter rate through the majority of the relationship. One source claims up to two times a day with a minimum of once every 36 hours. We tracked down Kruger to pry for a first-hand experience testimony, “Yea, usually at least once-a-day unless one of us was sick or something. Hell, I used to get blow jobs!”
A strange phenomena that scientists have been researching for decades indicates a correlation between the act of saying your vows and the female libido decreasing. Statistics show an increase in engagement times since the first study was released. Mrs. Kruger (Stewart) commented, “It’s the strangest thing, we say ‘I do’ and next thing you know my pussy dries right up. I almost feel like I have a small penis growing now.”
At present, research is learning ways to treat the symptoms yet there has been no cure found. Treatments include having the husband do the dishes, mop and “clear out that old shit from the fridge you’re never going to eat.” These treatments have shown slight moisture increases to the vaginal area.
The world’s greatest scientist has recently released a study saying women should bang their man with one hole or another every day to keep mental stability in the household. There are hopes this study will help treat the symptoms of post-nuptials-vagina-dryaging.