Snooty the Manatee Autopsy Exposes Crippling Opiate Addiction

In a sad turn of events, locals find out their beloved Snooty was actually a heroin junky.

“He always claimed the marks on his body were from boat props, now we know they were from needles.” Said scientist Richie McGavin in a a somber interview with

Snooty has been loved by researchers and local families alike for 22 years now. No one’s sure what spawned his addiction but traces of heroin, OxyContin and poppy seeds were found in his blood stream. Some had noticed he had become more of a hermit over the past two years and stayed in the more remote alcoves.

Drug problems have ravaged the local Manatee population in the past but it has been a decade since any serious occurrences have taken place. Researchers are paying close attention to make sure this is not becoming an epidemic.

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