Myakka Man Shaves Mullet, Still Sleeps with Sister

In a grave attempt to kill the incest, local sister-lover Jaxon T. McDonough (37) shaved his 21 year-old mullet. “I’s sersly better buds wit my mullet den my lil’ sis, but pastor keeps on a sayin’ I gots to stop given her thuh ol’ rooster. Dona wanna burn in Hell.”

Pastor Mark Sumtner tells us he just wants to “help the boy stop sinning. He comes to church every Sunday asking for forgiveness, but it needs to end.” Sumtner felt if Jaxon could try and change some things about himself physically it may spark a mental reconfiguration as well. “The mullet had to go.”

Jaxon shaved his head with a two-guard and can almost pass for a piece of white-trash that’s trying to not be white-trash now. But sadly, he fell back into old habits within a day. He tells us his sister Jaxopenia likes it as much as he does so “fuck it, jus’ gon keep on doin’ what we do. Wish I still had my hur.”

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