New Research Shows 80% of Happy Marriages Result of Faking It and Side Pussy

In an amazing, five year study funded by the American Household Institute, scientists have provided results that indicate happy marriages have two things in common: Pretending to be happy with the status quot and the husband getting some strange on the regular.  The statistics show the standard side pussy is between the ages of 27 and 35 though there were variances and anomalies showing some side pussy as old as 72.

The benchmark set to describe a “happy marriage” includes a lack of depression, a threshold minimum of $80,000/year household income and a wife that’s put on 40lbs since marriage.  The new study is expected to have a large impact on the 20% of happy marriages that don’t include these primary ingredients.  The new hypothesis that is being researched now is an expected impact of pushing the amount of happy marriages that don’t include side pussy down to a measly 8%.

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