BREAKING NEWS: Birdhouse Is Harmless, Millions Spent Over Lost Homeless Belongings

After a small birdhouse was discovered on the sidewalk across from Sarasota Memorial Hospital on U.S. 41, the entire block and connecting streets were shut down and businesses evacuated. An alarming event with half a dozen helicopters, bomb robots and the entirety of Sarasota county’s police force has been covering all news outlets and social media feeds.

Just now the bomb robots have revealed the small birdhouse is perfectly harmless and video recordings show it fell from a bum’s backpack at 4am. Thankfully, the town is safe and the valiant effort from our county which only cost a mere $2.1 million has guaranteed that.

In other news, four banks and eight small business were robbed during the shut down.

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