Angered Mutant Ninja Turtles Lash Out Over Bee Ridge Construction

Raphael, the leader of the pack, approached SRQNews.com with a fierce dialogue on the current Bee Ridge Road Construction. He tells us:

“How is a mutant turtle supposed to fight crime when the sewer system is being completely destroyed. Yea, sure, two years from now every thing is gonna be peachy-keen but what the FUCK are we supposed to do now? Fight in the daylight? Take SCAT around town to fight the foot clan?”

Sarasota officials say the construction was necessary as aging sewer systems were deteriorating and septic systems were being phased out in favor of city water. Residents in the area have mixed feelings. Maiden Lane home-owner Krystel Bergners informs us:

“You know, hell, with the gettin’ rid of our septic system. I gots my water bills ain’t nothing but a few dollars. Some jackass at Lone Star keeps telling me I’m gonna be pushing $80 every month to be on the city shit. Fuck that. And what the hell am I supposed to do about the crack heads around here. Them ninjer turtles kept are spot safer’n shit.”

City officials have denied comment at press time.

Facebook Comments

Related posts