Global Warming Shown to Disrupt Snowbird Migratory Patterns

Researchers at New College believe they have discovered correlation in global warming and snowbird migration.  Using the latest technology in tracking migration patterns, they are noticing snowbirds leaving the Sarasota area earlier than usual.

“It appears the Canadian species, The Blue Haired Brenda, has started migrating back north in mid-February as opposed to early-March.”

Local residents are happy with the situation as the snowbirds have been a nuisance for quite some time.

“If all we gotta do is fuck our planet up more to get a break from these snowbirds, I say let’s do it.  I’m about to trade my Jetta in for a 1985 Ford Bronco.  Gotta get them emissions up high as possible.” Proclaimed Sarasota man, Jesse Dupont (27).  “If I’m stuck on 41 for more than 30 minutes one more time I swear I’m gonna have a stroke.”

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