Gulf Gate Publix Becomes Newest Breeding Ground For The Living Dead

Early Sunday morning investigators discovered the latest breeding ground for Sarasota’s living dead. The Publix located at the corner of 41 and Clark was swamped with slow walking, apparently dead humans. The troup was mostly walking into the Publix with a small portion apparently confused on what exactly they were doing which led to them standing still in the middle of the traffic lanes.

Shockingly, we learned there were a few of these beings driving cars. Where they came from or why they chose Sarasota and this particular Publix is uncertain. At this time the county advises residents to avoid this area and go to one of the ten Publix’s within a mile of this one.

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