Local Serial Killer Taking Day Off for Halloween

Jason Norman, a resident serial killer, says he’s gonna take off the night for Halloween.

“I don’t want to seem like I’m celebrating. I kill when I want to kill, not because it’s some wiccan holiday. Plus, Jesus, my Lord and Savior, he’s not really a fan of the holiday.”

Norman says he will resume his murderous regiment starting mid-November to give some to “clear the air. I’ve been needing new glasses for a while so I’ll spend some time shopping for those.”

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