New College Professors No Longer Allowed to Attend School Orgies

In a shocking turn of events, the New College board voted to ban faculty from engaging in school orgies.

“We’ve doing these for years! It’s half the reason I started working here,” said one anonymous female professor. “In fact, it’s the only reason! College is full of young, horny 18 to 20 year-olds, if they setup a gang bang… sorry, I mean orgy, then it’s a lot of fun!”

Faculty having one-on-one intercourse with a student has been banned since the inception of the college, but orgies were a loophole. Well, not anymore.

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