Three Dead, One in Critical Condition in Turducken Incident

Alpine Steakhouse, quoted as having the “worst website on the internet,” has been thrown into the spotlight this week when a tragic incident at a Lakewood Ranch family home of four took place. A happy family of four has now become a family of one. Mom, Dad and Little Joey have all died in what the Feds are calling a “fowl play.”

Sole survivor, 8-year-old Annie is in critical condition at Sarasota Memorial but her Grandmother was available for interview.

“I never liked that shitty husband of my daughter’s anyway. I hope he choked on the wishbone.”

The Turducken, a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey, was invented, or so they claim, at the Alpine Steakhouse. It was featured by Guy Fieri, known for setting the record as the worst TV host in history by Guinness Book of World Records. He’s the host of Diner’s, Drive-In’s and Dive’s on The Food Network.

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