U.S. 41 Prostitution Business Declining Thanks to Colder Weather

Sarasota pimp Jimmy Steele says his business is suffering. “I just can’t stand it. It’s like a cruel joke. All the snow birds come down, which should mean a spike in business, but these under 60 degree days are just killing our revenue stream.”

Local whore Janny Kilburg stands on the corner of Myrtle and Tamiami wearing jeans and a turtle neck. “There’s nothing I can do, I have to dress like this or I’ll freeze and no one finds freezing sexy.” She said the BJ’s are still coming in at a normal pace but the full-blown intercourse has been winding down steadily. “Every now and then we’ve been hitting 70 plus this month and I can get my fishnets back on. Those days are busier than ever but it’s not making up for the cold days. I’m going to have to start stripping again to compensate for my income loss. It’s really unfortunate.”

Steele and Kilburg don’t expect this to be a long term effect on overall business, but short-term investors are starting to pull out which could possible snowball into a large drop in market value.

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