Jared Fogle’s Career Ends Where It Began: Trying To Get Into Smaller Pants

Jared, the man who had it all, is preparing to plead guilty to child pornography charges.  Making $1m a year for the past fifteen years and all he had to do was keep his nose clean.

The FBI isn’t releasing much information at this time.  Rumor has it Subway will be bringing back the guy who hit subs into people’s mouths with a golf club.  Their PR rep tells us, “Hopefully some nostalgia will help us recover from the molestation of our brand.  Think you’d be able to spot a kid diddler from a mile away.”


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