Sarasota Man Forced To Eat Spilled Canned Tuna Off Ground After Hurricane Irma

In a sad state of affairs, area man Jason Clingsworth forked his tuna a little too angrily while scooping from the can.  As half the chunks of white albacore fluttered to the ground he growled a solemn “fuck” under his breath.

Being hard times and having spent his monthly grocery budget on bottled water and Fresca, Jason was forced to pick individual chunks off the kitchen floor.  The flaky bits crumbled as his thumb and forefinger ever so slightly clamped together.

At press time a single tear rolled down his cheek while picking dog hairs off the particles of fish.

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